Post 13-6

As I’ve re-started blogging this month, I’ve caught myself a couple of times thinking of how technology changes. I started blogging 8 years ago, on blogspot. Things like links, adding pics and movies were still a bit clunky and occasionally even needed html code tweaking. I remember getting all excited to find ecto, a blogging program that made things so much easier…although in hindsight it was a kludge taped to a jerry-rigged deal. (Pictures were uploaded to Flickr, managed by a program called 1001, which interfaced with ecto).

I’ve long since moved to wordpress, which not only has way more tools simply in the web-based interface, but also has an iOS app. In the six posts so far, I’ve posted from my computer, my phone, and my iPad. It’s pretty seamless.

Now the big question is…do blogs have any relevance in our overpopulated social media world?

New Year’s Resolution

I will blog something (1 word, 1000 words, a picture…) every day in the month of January.

Then we’ll see what happens after that.

New beginnings

I started this blog exactly five years ago, as a tool to prompt me to write more. My peak in terms of frequency of posts happened a little over a year later. I think my favorite post of all time is this one, and the ones that have been read by the most people are my top ten lists about Quakers.

Five years ago, I had a preschooler and two elementary students. It’s shocking to me how different life is now. The time I once carved out with discipline to write the blog has evaporated into Facebook and oozed into a different family stage. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve blogged regularly, the gaps between the fits and starts getting longer and longer.

My friend Tanya recently evaluated her own blog, and started anew with purpose not long after. She also wrote on Facebook that she missed my blogging, something someone else said a few weeks ago.

So I’m going to try again. To blog more. Note the comparative “more”…not a definitive “weekly” or “daily”. Just more. I’m not sure all of what it will be; Facebook will likely remain the place for pictures and mundane blather about my daily life, so this will be something other than that. But I can tell you what the first couple ones will be.

I made a suggestion to my daughter for a class writing assignment. She didn’t like it, but unsurprisingly, I liked my own idea. The first one started writing itself in my mind when I couldn’t sleep the other night, and today I got a draft done. As much as I have loved the community and friendship that developed through this blog, when I think back to five years ago, it was for me. So, selfishly, I’m going to write about whatever I feel like writing. And if you don’t like it, you don’t have to read it. 🙂

Clear!

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppp…..

“Shall we call it?”

“I think so. Nothing at all since August 23, nothing original since March 23. I think it’s gone.”

“Ok. Time of death, 4:56…”

“NOOOOOOOOO! I refuse to give up. Give me the paddles!”

“Are you crazy? This blog has been down WAY too long.”

“Give me the paddles! CLEAR!”

[zap]

“Come on, charge it again! Charge it again! Clear!”

[zap]
beep………………..beep.

“Wait a minute!”
“What was that?”

“I told you! Come on! Again!”

[zap]

I think you might see some more signs of life around here soon…

Blog-o-lution; Blog-evolve-tion

Yes, the cyclical nature of blogging has proved itself once again; only the troughs between waves of activity seem to be getting longer and longer. For my own sake, I want to post a few of my thoughts about this blog.

I began this journey of blogging to push myself to write more often. I enjoy wordsmithing and wordcrafting, and wanted this to be a discipline for just that. And behold, in the beginning, it was good.

The first evolution was the beautiful recognition that blogging gave me a chance to connect with a wider Quaker community. I now have friends across the country and the Quaker spectrum that I would not have without this blog. I have received a lot in those relationships, and I think I’ve contributed some as well. And behold, in the middle, it was good.

The second evolution was the painful recognition that even though I titled the blog, “Gregg’s Gambles”…when I actually took steps approaching a “gamble,” I realized that even being a public figure on a very minor scale means vulnerability has consequences. And behold, in the 7th inning, it was not-so-good.

The third evolution was to make the blog more of a personal/family outlet: here’s who I am and what’s going on in my life, with the occasional thoughtful piece when the mood struck. And behold, in the 8th inning, it was sporadic and good.

The fourth evolution was Facebook coming to a “tipping point” for me personally and for lots of others. It’s a much richer, better, web 2.0 way of getting at the personal/family outlet. And behold, in the 9th inning, the blog was VERY sporadic and okay.

So I have to decide whether, to continue the baseball metaphor, the blog-game comes to an end after 9 innings, or whether we enter extra innings, or whether a new blog-game commences.

I’m leaning toward the latter-est option. I just want to say “out loud” here that my personal/family stuff will mostly be on Facebook; so, if you’re someone who likes to know that kind of stuff about me, add me as a friend on Facebook (which might mean taking the plunge to join yourself, which I think would be worthwhile).

I’m not sure what this blog will become exactly. Which, I know, is death according to the “successful blog rules.” I’ll try to be better about posting messages from Sunday, when I have a written piece that is able to be posted. (As I said a few months ago, my preparation practice has changed for my messages, and I don’t always manuscript out what I’m going to say, trusting the Spirit to work in me in the moment. And I don’t have the time to write out my thoughts after the fact when that happens.)

My guess is, for this season at least, I will not be posting on any sort of regular schedule. Our family life has changed fairly drastically from when I began this blog almost 4 years ago: I have a 1st grader, a middle schooler, and a high schooler, all of whom add many activities to the family calendar. Elaine is working outside the home again (as an educational aide in our town’s alternative high school, which she’s really excelling at!). All that adds up to less time for blogging.

So, there you go. Thanks to those of you who still have me in your blog reader or check here once in a blue moon to see if I’ve posted anything. I really do enjoy this interaction, and wish I had more time for it.

Bloop Single

I’ve been thinking about slumps. Former baseball players do that occasionally.

There are different kinds of slumps. Some are like what I had last week in our first night of softball, a doubleheader where I got up 10 times, and absolutely crushed the ball on 9 of them. I was line-driving it everywhere, frozen ropes as my coach used to call them.

I got on base one time.

Some slumps are worse than that, the kind where you can’t touch anything, you just ain’t seein’ it. It’s a crazy game, one where hitting horribly and hitting incredibly can have the same exasperating result: nothing. Whichever kind of slump you are in, you just long for something, anything, to break you out of it. You’re looking for that ugly, desperation, bloop single that barely gets over the 2nd baseman’s head, and you hope it will make the nasty slump come to an end.

I’ve been wondering what kind of post will be the bloop single to break me out of my blogging slump…and as always, I’m surprised at what does it.

MY CLACKAMAS CAVALIERS ARE BASEBALL 6A STATE CHAMPIONS!!!

Yes, friends, my alma mater beat Liz’s alma mater 3-1 today down in Salem to take home the school’s first state championship in any boys’ sport. 22 years ago, when I was wearing #4 and playing third base, everybody would have guessed basketball would be our best shot at a state championship; we were never very good on the diamond. But 22 years is a long time, and there was a lot of red and black in the Keizer Volcanoes stadium today to watch.

Yes, I went. For part of it. Elaine thought I was crazy.

I missed the dramatic ending, because I had a prior commitment at church to honor our graduating high school seniors…that really was more important. But I saw two great pitchers today, Nick Struck for Clackamas and Ryan Gorton for Tigard. Struck threw a great game, with Tigard manufacturing their only run on two questionable calls and a single. Gorton was even better; he threw a perfect game through 5 innings; a perfect game. The Cavs couldn’t touch him. I was driving back to Newberg for the top of the 6th. Cavs finally got a single; moved him around to third on two ground balls; then, a fly ball to right center that should have ended the inning.

The guy missed it. E-9 in the scorebooks, and the game is tied. Next hitter launches a two run home run over the right field fence, and the Cavs have a championship!

I was hoping to see my high school coach, but no such luck; he’s been gone over a decade, and didn’t show up for the game that I could see. It was fun to see how some things change, while others are the same. My brain still thinks though every pitch and situation, just like it used to. But I can’t imagine that many of my friends coming to watch me play! And, I’m amazed at the dollars in uniforms now. Both teams had warm up jerseys as well as home and away game jerseys, coats, and at least two different styles of hats. Here’s a few shots I took at the game…

Assistant Coach John Arntson

Nick Struck:

Hopefully this is my bloop single that breaks the slump!

Catching up

So, I feel like I need to give a refund of everything you’ve ever paid as a reader of my blog. Your satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back, you know…but please don’t tell me if you are satisfied when the blog goes silent. I don’t want to know. 🙂

Easter dawned with hope, the beginning of spring vacation. I envisioned one-on-one dates with each daughter and Elaine, family time, a light work week. But we were hit with sickness, Aubrey and me the worst. It was long, nasty, and brutal. So the visions turned into mirages, and the blog went silent. I’ve been relatively healthy for a little over a week, but digging out at work has meant neglect-o-blog-itis.

Much to catch you up on, of course, as I’m sure you are dying to know the minutia of my life. Due to the sickness and much pain in my calf and shins, the training for the big 40th birthday run has taken a hit. I’m still going to try and do it, but my leg may not let me. Nothing like setting a goal to not feel so old, and having the goal painfully remind you how old your body truly is. Not to mention the way it reveals a warped personality that borders on mental illness. Elaine quite reasonably suggested tonight that I could very easily try to do the run in May. I looked at her as if she were insane; I literally could not comprehend NOT trying to achieve this ridiculous goal that no one cares about except me. And that says more about me than I care to delve into at the current time.

Unlike her aging, limping father, Talli is off and running well early in this new track season. Her first meet was last Thursday, and she had a good case of the nerves, as did her good friend and partner in crime, Savannah:

As they anxiously awaited the start of the 1500, Talli’s favorite event, one of the girls from the other team said, “Sorry to say this, but we’re going to win. There’s four of us and only two of you.” Because that’s how track works, you know. It’s not about how fast you are, but about the numbers. Talli started to breathe easier, and when Savannah asked their best time, the answer was almost a minute and a half slower than Talli’s best last year.

They started slow. Let me re-phrase that. They started SSSSSSSS——–LLLLLLLLLLLLL———–OOOOOOOOO————-WWWWWWWWWWW. Their first lap came in at 99 seconds, about 10 to 15 seconds slower than Talli usually did last year. There was never a doubt that Talli was going to win the race, and her last two laps she looked so smooth and strong, I knew this year is going to be good for her. She won by a huge margin, with Savannah in second:

I’m really learning to enjoy track, and I especially love the group of friends Talli has. They are great people, and three of the best run with Talli on the 4 x 400 relay. I got this picture of them right before the race, and I love it:

I suppose nobody except my parents (hi mom! hi dad!) really enjoy reading about me gushing about my kids, but hey, like I said, ask for your money back. It’s my blog, I can do what I want. Talli’s going to get some more blog time here, simply because there’ve been lots of cool things going on for her. And just to be publicly on the record, I love all my kids very much, and this is in no way me picking favorites with my kids. Ok? Got it? Good.

So the track meet was Thursday, and she won the 1500 and the 800 and they came in second in the relay. Then on Friday, she went to a festival with the Advanced Jazz Band from her school. She had a trumpet solo, and the clinician told her she did a great job. This all came in the midst of state testing and extra homework; we’ve not seen her quite so exhausted as she was Friday night.

When I was younger, I didn’t dream much about being a parent. But I suppose when I did, I pictured something like what happened on Sunday afternoon. Talli and Stevie planned a huge water fight at our house. They spent hours planning and calling people and filling up water balloons and buckets and collecting squirt guns, all the while trying to coerce me into joining them. They included all the younger kids in the neighborhood, including Hayley and Aubrey. I ended up running around our back field hucking water balloons with 14 middle school and elementary girls (me and poor Jacob were the only males in sight). We were in teams, but somehow my team turned into a bunch of Benedict Arnold traitors, and every single person on that field doused me at some point.

I have to say, it’s the most fun I’ve had in a very long time. It’s the kind of dad I wish I could be more often, laughing and teasing and getting ganged up on. I like knowing my kids’ friends. I thanked Talli for giving me a dad moment I’ve dreamed about for a long time. I just never dreamed that I’d be this tired and sore…

Reading meme

I got tagged by Michael!

The rules of this meme are as follows:

1. Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. No cheating!
2. Find page 123
3. Find the first 5 sentences
4. Post the next 3 sentences
5. Tag 5 people

The nearest book to me is a toss up between the bible and “Christianity for the Rest of Us” by Diana Butler Bass. I’ll choose Bass’ book.

Here’s the quote that comes out:

Brothers from the Society of Saint John the Evangelist visit the parish; and members of the congregation make retreats with the monks. Parishioners are clearly expected to tend to their spiritual lives by participating in “closet” activities of prayer and Bible study. Having observed all these things, I asked Gary if he was trying to create a kind of open, parish-based, lay monastery.

I tag:

1. Dad
2. Tanya
3. Marta
4. Mike
5. Dan

Waking from slumber…

Did you hear that? I think it might be me, fingers finding a keyboard, brain finding my blog again. The blogging bug is beckoning me back, and it’s because Robin asked me on facebook if getting a new computer means I might actually blog this month, and because AJ is going hogwild crazy with posts, and because Kathy posted my thoughts exactly (with different details), and because I had a really fun evening honoring my high school speech teacher and I want to tell you about that, and because at the event honoring Diane “Edge” Edgington three people had read my blog, and one of them, who teaches writing at USC, no, who actually teaches a course on blogging said she’s been a lurker here for a long time and said, and I quote: “You’re doing exactly what a blog should do; it’s about your work, it’s personal, it’s deep…it’s a beautiful piece of work.”

So I thought maybe I ought to actually write something on my blog…I’m kinda good at putting two and two together that way. But that’s all I got for tonight, so stay tuned!

If I drank coffee…

…which I don’t, because I don’t like the taste…but if I drank coffee, and if we weren’t scattered over thousands of miles, we could sit down together in a corner of Chapters, connecting in the warm hubbub of a coffee shop, and we could talk. You might ask,

So, what happened to your blog? I notice it’s sort of…lost its depth?

And if we really were at Chapters and I really did like coffee, I would slowly take a sip of my double shot mocha, place it down on the table, trace my finger around the rim of the cup, and faintly smile. I’d sigh and respond,

I don’t really know. It just got so…complex. So wonderfully varied. Such diverse people with such different perspectives, new friendships I love. But it sort of gave me stage fright. Sort of paralyzed me. It began as a vent for pent up wonderings, and what I wanted at first was just a place to get them out. But then people started noticing, and I loved it, and then I wanted to write REALLY GOOD stuff, better and better, and then I got afraid, and then I stopped. I feel like I’ve broken through and have started posting again, but it’s only been about baseball and American Idol, not about stuff that’s really consequential.

And you might smile back, and try and relieve the pressure of performance. You might look over the top of your mug with a twinkle in your eye, and say,

Well, just relax. Maybe if we just talk the old openness will come back…How was camping last week?

Really fun! Very relaxing. I’ve never caught so many fish so easily in my life. The kids had a great time together with old friends. We played games, we sat, we rested, the weather was better than we’ve ever had.

You might take the risk to push me deeper.

No, really. What did you catch yourself thinking, deep in there, in the time you had to let down and relax?

Hmmm…
Honestly, I thought a lot about the gift of rootedness, for myself, and even more for my kids. I come from a pretty small extended family that doesn’t really have stories and history about itself. We moved fairly frequently, and while my parents had friendships they maintained over the time I was growing up, the friends my brother and I had would change as we moved.

But now, we have the two families that we’ve camped with every year since 1991 (well, we missed 1999, but close enough). I created a picture and memory book of each trip, and last week got to look over it with the kids, the ones who didn’t even exist when we started camping. We have a place that we’ve returned to seven times over 11 years, a place with memories for all of us.

It’s where we had a harrowing 20 minute drive to our first hospital visit for our 2 year old first born when she fell out of the trailer and smashed her face. I know the spot where I sat on a hammock with my five month old second born, gazing in awe at the fact that Elaine and I had taken part in the creation of another incredibly different and unique human being. Two of my kids caught their first fish here.

I know the exact riffle where I lost a 20+ inch rainbow. The huge pool where I caught a 21 inch bull trout is now totally gone, because the whole waterfall has moved, completely moved, 30 feet upstream. Time has passed, and the world changes. I’m getting old enough to realize it, and that creek has become a picture of it: familiar, yet ever changing.

You smile.

And what’s happened this week?

I officiated at the funeral of a 96 year old saint on Monday. It’s become an amazing gift to participate in these sacred times of remembering, these times that put into perspective what is really lasting in life. At one point, his brother-in-law was reading from the bible. He said, almost as an aside, that this man was not one to mark his bible, so he had to make his own choices about which passages to read.

And I realized I don’t mark my bibles much either. How would my kids or anyone know what parts of the bible are life verses for me? I think I’d like to blog about that, a sort of series on the verses that really mean something to me and why.

I want all of who I am to reflect the things that are important, truly lasting and important. I want to live in such a way that people see the mark of God, the tracings of Jesus on my life.

And what are you looking at up ahead?

India. It’s consuming a lot of my thoughts, with much preparation still to be done for me and Hayley. (Not consuming enough to make me remember to take her to her scheduled doctor’s appointment today, though. Why is it that doctors can make you wait 45 minutes or an hour without an apology, but if you’re 10 minutes late, you lose your appointment?)

I’m realizing that I am finally going to put feet to values and beliefs I have had for a long time. I am finally going to live out and express what I believe to the core of my personhood, that every human being on the planet has dignity and value and worth, and that to follow the Creator of everything means to offer ourselves for our brothers and sisters who live in pain and injustice, wherever they are. I’m realizing that I have the scary opportunity to walk vulnerably with my daughter into sights and sounds and smells and a society that may scare her spitless, but that also may set the course of her life toward battling injustice in the world. I’m realizing that my world and boundaries are going to be stretched beyond comfort. I’m realizing that I long for and dream of and hope for a time when our community at Newberg Friends will partner with God and people he loves in another part of the world, and we will mutually change and shape each other for the better.

You smirk and stand to leave.

I think you may have returned to your old blog-self.